Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
