I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
