She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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