i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize