I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
