Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
