How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
