you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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