you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
