I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
