Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
well you can't waste a boner
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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