Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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