No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
