do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
