8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
