It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Randomize
