After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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