She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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