so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
