I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
actually, I'm a sock model
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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