Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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