guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
