You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
