They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
