I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
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