Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
We have so much sex to catch up on
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
