I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
