Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on