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D3 body, D1 cock
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
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