I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail