He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
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I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
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there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.