He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?