whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
