My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
