hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
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Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
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My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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