do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
