cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize