So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
