If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
