dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I could fuck to npr.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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