one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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