A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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