You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
