i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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