Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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