My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
