My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize