My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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