I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Just high enough for therapy.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
