Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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