umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.