i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just want to make out with him forever
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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