Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.