problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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