He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
