It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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