I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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