rhymes with "ouble enetration"
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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