Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
