Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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