If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
