Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
