You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
